Saying All the Wrong Things
by Baellista
Summary: (Completed) Last chapters rating goes up a bit from the rest of the story. SSNT-- What happens when a beauty and a bat square off? Who emerges the victor? and what other than Voldemort or someones death could give Harry nightmares? (((EPILOGUE UP!)))
1. My Ickle SevvieWevvy

_**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this fic, nor Hogwarts (well, who in my mind is a character). JK Rowling does. She and Warner brothers and whoever else has any rights to Harry Potter books. This is not intended for profit, only for fun, and I in no way claim to be talented. **_

_**Character Pairings: Severus Snape/Nymphadora Tonks **_

_**Warnings: Mild use of language, adult situations, possible slight ooc (though I try desperately to avoid that) **_

_**This contains no overly complex plot, and is written mainly to make people smile while hopefully avoiding being overly cheesy although I do NOT mind cheesy, so...yeah **_

**_A/N: I grew fascinated with (after reading several that made me shudder) the idea of if a Snape-Tonks romance could be pulled off even halfway believably, without going horribly ooc on the characters or making it gag-a-maggot sweet. I do not know for sure if everything is going to work out in the end, it may not do so. Keeps it interesting for me. If you spot any errors in any of the chapters, please leave them in a review so I can correct them (thanks to my beta for suggesting this--revised note May 9,2004)_**

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"So...what kind of potion?" she asked awkwardly, as they stood alone in the living room area of number 12 Grimmauld Place.

"The different kind," he answered silkily, and smirked.

"Why's it different?" she tried again, mentally doing all she could to keep a hold on the temper he sparked off in her so easily.

"Because its unusual." Condescending amusement filled his black eyes as he crossed his arms lazily.

That look set her off and she mimicked his pose, and said bitingly: "You can just bloody well kiss my ar-!"

"Ah-ah. Language, Nymphadora."

"Go lick Potter's boots, Sevvie," she answered back, saccharine sweet, and leaned against the wall as she waited for his retort. It was pretty much the ultimate insult to him; and she knew it.

He clenched his fists where she couldn't see, and the amusement left his face. "Do not even begin to think that you could presume to tell me wh-"

"Ooo wordy. Has ickle Sevvie been reading his wittle dictionary?" the purple-haired Metamorphmagus mocked, and pretended to shiver in her shoes when Snape took a step towards her, trying one of his well-used intimidation tactics.

"Do NOT call me that," the greasy-haired Potions Master bit out.

She smirked. "What? The big bully can dish it out, but he can't take it?" came her smooth retort.

"I am not a Potter."

Tonks brought a hand up to her heart, and pretended to be amazed. "After all this time, you FINALLY decide to come clean?" A fake sniff. "I'm so prouuud!" she wailed, and wrapped her arms around him, pretending to blow her nose on his robes.

He went rigid.

She stepped back, snickering.

"You, Nymphadora, are nothing to but a little, impertinent, immature whelp!"

Tonks rolled her eyes. "Yeah, says the one who's calling someone else names."

"Grow up."

"I will if you will."

"I am grown up."

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much," she quoted, and then her eyes widened as she slapped a hand to her mouth.

Giggles erupted from her. "Did I say THAT?"

"Nymphadora!" he growled.

"Sevvie-poo!" she said his name practically oozing sweetness. She was determined not to lose this one.

"NYMPHADORA!" he yelled.

"MY ICKLE SEVVIE-WEVVY!" she yelled right back, and he froze, staring at her with a stony expression his face. Unbeknownst to the both of them, a crowd had begin to gather in the hallway when Messrs. Gred and Forge Weasley came in for their first Order meeting and heard the two of them going at it. Immediately they'd began silencing anyone who arrived after them and themselves, and beckoned everyone over to where they could hear better as to what was going on. Silenced sniggers erupted from most of the members there, and the rest smiled or smirked at the idea of anyone calling Severus Snape "My ickle Sevvie-Wevvy."

They waited with bated breath to see what would happen next.

"Be glad I try to refrain from cursing those I work with," Snape finally said, an edge to his voice.

Tonks snorted. "I'd like to see you try."

He went so far as to roll his eyes at her, and stated blandly. "All I'd have to do is fire off one spell and sit back and watch as you trip and fall and smash everything in a one kilometre radius trying to respond."

The smiles were wiped from everyone's faces. That was a low blow.

Apparently Tonks thought so, too. Because not even three seconds later, the sharp **CRACK!** of her hand meeting his cheek echoed through the room.

Then she whispered, her eyes bright with unshed tears: "I don't put you down for all the things you normally get put down for, you greasy-haired, slimy, hook-nosed toe-rag of an overgrown bat!"

Snape stared at her in consternation. It was true. She hadn't once said any of those things, and had instead kept the argument on...almost light? grounds.

He sighed and then did something no one ever thought him capable of, at least not with meaning.

"I apologize for that, Miss Tonks."

She wiped her eyes furiously, and whirled away from him. "Its alright..." she said. "Everyone else makes fun of me, why in the bloody hell should you be any different."

'_Merlin, she knows how to lay a guilt-trip,_' he thought, and stepped towards her, extending one hand to rest on one of her shoulders, but then paused, and said instead. "I think we should go to the kitchen. The other Order Members should be arriving soon."

Her back went rigid, her shoulders squared, and then she nodded jerkily, and headed towards the kitchen without another word.

Snape followed behind silently.

END PART 1! (betad!)


	2. Tonksy and the DA discussion

_**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this fic, nor Hogwarts (well, who in my mind is a character). JK Rowling does. She and Warner brothers and whoever else has any rights to Harry Potter books. This is not intended for profit, only for fun, and I in no way claim to be talented. **_

_**Character Pairings: Severus Snape/Nymphadora Tonks **_

_**Warnings: Mild use of language, adult situations, possible slight ooc (though I try desperately to avoid that) **_

_**This contains no overly complex plot, and is written mainly to make people smile while hopefully avoiding being overly cheesy although I do NOT mind cheesy, so...yeah **_

**_A/N: I grew fascinated with (after reading several that made me shudder) the idea of if a Snape-Tonks romance could be pulled off even halfway believably, without going horribly ooc on the characters or making it gag-a-maggot sweet. I do not know for sure if everything is going to work out in the end, it may not do so. Keeps it interesting for me. If you spot any errors in any of the chapters, please leave them in a review so I can correct them (thanks to my beta for suggesting this--revised note May 9,2004)_**

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"Miss Tonks, if you would please stay for a moment, I have something I need to discuss with you," Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry called out and his eyes twinkled madly when Tonks froze with one foot lifted for another step, then whirled toward him.

He almost smiled when she went off-balance and he saw the concerned look Severus gave her, one of his hands twitching as though he wanted to grab her. The Potions Master had been watching the Metamorphmagus nearly the whole meeting, except when it was time to give his report. As a consequence he had missed the varied looks being shot his way. Not completely missed them, Dumbledore believed, but Severus was stubborn. When he wanted to focus something, he did it fully. Discreetly, of course, but fully nonetheless.

Tonks didn't fall though, although it was a bit of a trick to get her balance corrected, and as soon as she was on "firm footing" she bound over to the Headmaster. "Whatcha need?"

He held up a hand to silence her until all the Order members, Severus last, were out of the kitchen. Then he lowered his hand and smiled at her. "As you know, we have a bit of trouble keeping professors for our Defence Against the Dark Arts position..."

She snorted. "Understatement."

He chuckled. "Mm, indeed, Miss Tonks. Indeed. Now, as I was saying- I've yet to fill that position for this year, and was wondering if perhaps I might persuade you to take the job. Not a life-long commitment...we'll just see if this year works out, and go from there. How does that sound?"

Tonks eyes immediately brightened, and she hoisted herself up on the kitchen table near Dumbledore, legs swinging restlessly. He could see her mind working, although he hesitated to use Legilimency, and wasn't surprised when she opened her mouth, closed it, opened it again, and then said super-sweet and innocently. "Of course, Headmaster. I'd be delighted to take the job."

'_Surprised, no. A little worried? Yes._' "Now, Miss Tonks, please remember that you cannot use most of the stronger spells you know against students. Even ones like...Mister Malfoy."

Tonks smirked. "Of course! I'd never drrream of using some of the stronger ones I know against a student..." _'But I can teach them to the DA so the DA can use them. Plus, he said nothing about using what I know on some of the teachers...'_

Dumbledore shook his head lightly and got to his feet, extending a hand towards Tonks. "You will be paid, of course, the amount you earn as an Auror, plus a bit more for expenses. Welcome to Hogwarts, Professor Tonks."

The "meeting" she'd had with Severus earlier came back to her, and this caused her to laugh in delight. "Hah! Now I can take points off anyone that calls me N...well, anything other than Professor Tonks!" She shook Dumbledore's hand firmly, and slid off the edge of the table. "S'at all?"

"That's all."

"YES!" The young woman punched her fist in the air, and exited the kitchen at a near run.

Moments later, as Dumbledore was exiting the kitchen, and had just started to say something to Molly Weasley, a "TONKS! GERROFF ME!" drifted down the stairs. It was shortly followed by, "DADA TEACHER? EXCELLENT!" "MALFOY DOESN'T STAND A CHANCE!"

Silence fell in the living room for a moment, where the Order Members who had not left yet were congregated. Dumbledore smiled at Molly, and said: "It is a good thing, I believe, that Severus wasn't here to hear that particular comment."

Chuckles all around broke the silence.

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As soon as Tonks had left the room where she'd pounced on Ron and Harry and Hermione each in turn, the Trio turned to each other and shared identical grins. "This is awesome!" Ron exclaimed in a fierce whisper, and Harry and Hermione both nodded. "The things we'll be able to get away with..." he continued on in a dreamy voice, that ended on a yelp as Hermione slapped him on the back of the head. "What'd you do that for?" the redhead asked indignantly.

Harry rolled his eyes, and answered before Hermione had a chance. "Because Ron, we shouldn't take advantage of a teacher. And I say that Professor Dumbledore has already instructed Tonks upon how to act."

Hermione smiled at Harry, pleased that he was thinking logically. Ron, however, was a different story. "Correct. Besides, I should think that after...her... last year, that this should seem like a relief. Being able to practice spells without having to be in a DA meeting...speaking of which-" She eyed The-Boy-Who-Lived. "Are you going to reform the DA this year, Harry?"

He shrugged. "Well, since we've actually got a decent defense..." he stopped at the calculating look on Hermione's face. "What's wrong?"

Looking reluctant to speak, Hermione said slowly. "It's great that Tonks is our new teacher, but...well-" She sighed. "It's Tonks. She means well, and she does know a lot of spells undoubtedly...but I think we should keep the DA open as a..." the bushy haired girl shifted uncomfortably, and then quickly finished, "as a group study type thing. So that we can practice and really get to understand the spells that she teaches us!"

Ron's ears turned red and he opened his mouth to say something angrily, but then realization sunk in and he nodded. "As much as I hate to admit it...'Mione's right, Harry."

"Alright," Harry agreed after a moment, "but only on the condition that Tonks knows upfront that we're reforming the DA." He looked at his two best friends, and when they both nodded, he grinned. "So-"

Two loud **POP**s! sounded near them, and within the second it seemed, Harry had his wand out and pointed straight at the two who'd apparated into the room before he even realized who it was. "Blimey, Harry. You're downright jumpy," said Fred Weasley. George nodded in agreement.

"Why one would even think you..."

"have a Dark Lord or something after you..."

"Oh wait, you DO have a Dark Lord after you!"

"So that's alright then!" they finished together, and turned their attention to their younger brother Ron. "We might have heard..."

"a little birdie..."

"whispering sweetly in our ears..."

"or maybe we just happened to look in the doorway..."

"Yes, maybe you're right, Forge."

"I know I am, Gred! Anyways...we saw your ears get red at the slight..."

"insult to Tonks...and just thought we'd say..."

Here both Twins yelled at the top of their lungs. "WE THINK ITS SWEEET ICKLE RONNIEKINS HAS A CRUSH ON OUR TONKSY!"

Ron lunged at them, but they both apparated from the room before he could reach them. "Kill...twins...murder...crush...no...Tonks...argh!"

Harry was overcome with laughter, so it was Hermione who patted Ron on the arm and said consolingly: "Calm down. I'm sure no one believes that. The twins are always saying something to try to embarrass someone."

"She's probably right, Ron, but..." Harry's eyes sparkled with laughter, something seen too rarely these days. It was the only thing that kept Ron from lunging at him as he said: "Does ickle Ronniekins have a crush on Tonksy?"

"HARRY!"

END PART 2!! (Beta'd)

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Authors Note:

Thank you to EVERYONE who reviewed :) Any questions? Email me them :) and I'll answer ASAP


	3. Dinner with a Barmy old Coot

**_Disclaimer: I dont own any of the characters mentioned in this fic, nor Hogwarts (well, who in my mind is a character). Jk Rowling does. She and warner brothers and whoever else has any rights to Harry Potter books. This is not intended for profit, only for fun, and I in no way claim to be talented._**

**_Character Pairings: Severus Snape/Nymphadora Tonks_**

**_Warnings: Mild use of language, adult situations, possible slight ooc (though i try desperately to avoid that)_**

**_This contains no overly complex plot, and is written mainly to make people smile while hopefully avoiding being overly cheesy although I do NOT mind cheesy, so..yeah_**

**_A/N: I grew fascinated with (after reading several that made me shudder) the idea of if a Snape-Tonks romance could be pulled off even halfway believably, without going horribly ooc on the characters or making it gag-a-maggot sweet. I dont know for sure if everything is going to work out in the end, it may not do so. Keeps it interesting for me. If you spot any errors in any of the chapters, please leave them in a review so I can correct them (thanks to my beta for suggesting this--revised note May 9,2004)_**

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He couldn't believe he'd spent practically the whole Order Meeting staring at the chit! He'd not been this fascinated with anyone since well...Lily. And that was only because she'd actually stood up for him. But Tonks...Tonks hadn't stood up for him, she'd just stood up to him. Then he'd hurt her. He really was a bastard sometimes. And she'd been on his mind since then. During the Meeting, when he'd stood to give his report on Voldemort, he'd almost found himself saying Tonks instead. Thank Merlin he thought before he spoke!

Even after, when he normally left immediately, he found himself wanting to linger. Why? He didn't know. It was probably some looked over, much repressed teen-age part of him that wanted to make eyes at her.

Severus snorted.

The very idea of him...the greasy Potions Master...making eyes at someone was absurd! Especially someone so much younger than he was. He was old enough to be her father. _'Perhaps.'_ A frown creased his brow. Was he really? How old WAS the Metamorphmagus? She certainly acted young enough, but for all he knew she could be forty. '_Mm, not very likely since she just recently became an Auror._' That was true enough...but he was supposed to be getting ready for the upcoming school year!

Huffing in annoyance, he threw down his raven quill, and leaned back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling. What was it Dumbledore had kept her behind to ask? Was he sending her on some special job? His figurative hackles rose at the idea of her being in danger, and as soon as he realized it, he huffed again. He just couldn't get the blasted chit off his mind!

It was probably because of the way she'd accepted his apology, making it seem like he was well...everyone else. Severus Snape was not just everyone else, or even someone else. No one who knew him would disagree with that particular statement. After all, who else had being a complete git down to such a fine art?

Aggravated at his thoughts, he pushed to his feet and strode from his office. He'd take a walk through school. Take some points off the students. That always made him feel better.

Then he remembered it was still summer.

"**AARGH**!" he burst out, nearly stomping his foot in frustration. A second later the Bloody Baron drifted down the hall towards him.

"Greetings, Severus," the baron said, his voice raspy and seemingly ill-used. "What is the problem, if I may enquire?"

Taking a few steadying breaths, Severus looked at the ghost, and said succinctly. "Women."

"Ah. Any particular woman? Someone I know?"

"Nymphadora Tonks. The Metamorphmagus."

"Our new defense teacher? I can see why she would be frustrating. Certainly not one of the more...subtle of the female species." Snape frowned.

"Defense teacher?" The baron looked faintly abashed.

"I suppose Dumbledore hasn't made the announcement yet. He has hired the girl as this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher." A sympathetic look was given by the ghost. "I know you wished for the position, Severus. I am most sorry."

Snape just shook his head, and said impatiently. "It's not as if I had a chance of getting it. As long as I am a Death Eater, I'll not have a chance. Now, if you'll excuse me, Baron, I find myself wanting to locate Dumbledore and question him."

"Of course, of course." The Baron inclined his head and continued drifting down the hallway.

As usual, Dumbledore seemed to know he was coming before he even had a chance to knock on the door to his office. Indeed, he met him at the door with one of those knowing smiles. "Ah, Severus. Welcome. Most unexpected."

Snape barely resisted the urge to snort, and instead said silkily: "I can imagine, Albus." He stepped in when the elderly man stepped aside, and went to the seat in front of his desk, although he did not sit. "I heard you've hired Nymphadora Tonks to be the defense teacher this year?"

"Lemo-alright then. I did wonder when that news would get out. Generally before I announce it, at least half the school knows."

The Potions Master rolled his eyes. "It is the holidays, Albus. We don't have the usual Gryffindor gossips to spread every little secret." He crossed his arms, and looked at the Headmaster. "Voldemort will be most displeased I didn't get the position."

Dumbledore nodded. "Inform him that you did try, but I had already selected and made arrangements for Miss Tonks to begin teaching this year."

Uncrossing his arms, Severus leaned down, planting his hands on the desk, saying levelly: "And if he suggests I remove her?" The old man's eyes twinkled infuriatingly.

"It is amazing, is it not, how many teachers, male and female, we could go through without ever losing Miss Tonks?"

'_You sly old coot!'_ Snape thought with an inward grin. Outwardly, he just stood upright again, arching an eyebrow. "Indeed. I am interested in seeing how Miss Tonks does dealing with these brats." _'There's that bloody twinkle again.' _"Albus..." He said warningly.

"I just think it's nice to see two such wonderful people take an interest in each other."

"In each other?" he couldn't resist asking, although he could have stupefied himself afterward when Albus replied (with total honesty), "Of course. You are a most interesting person, Severus. Who could help it?"

Snape shook his head. "Completely bloody insane."

"I do try."

"I've got work to be doing," Snape said as he whirled on his heel, robes flaring out around him, and headed for the door. He stopped only when Albus called his name. "Yes, Headmaster?"

"Dinner tonight, Severus? It has been quite a while since our last chess match and talk."

'_Barmy old man!'_ Snape snorted and exited the room.

Albus called down to arrange dinner with a grin.

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"Duck Plucks. Cockroach clusters. Fizzing Whizbees. Sugar quills! Acid Po-OH OPEN THE BLOODY HELL UP, YOU STUPID HUNK OF ROCK!" Snape rounded the corner to see a yellow-haired Tonks confronting the gargoyle in front of Albus' office.

"Problems, Miss Tonks?" She whirled to face him, and planted her hands on her hips.

"Yes! This blasted gargoyle won't open! I was supposed to meet Dumbles tonight for er...a welcoming dinner?"

"And he asked me to come for our usual dinner tonight," Snape sneered. "He does like to interfere.

Tonks giggled. "It's cute."

"Woman..."

"Ooh getting down to the real insults now, are we?"

"I- That wasn't an insult!" he said, flustered. She just grinned at him.

"I was teasing, Severus." Turning back to the gargoyle, she started again. "Pacifying Pacis? Snot Drops?-" Tonks halted when Severus said calmly.

"Droobles best." The gargoyle slid open, and as they stepped onto the revolving stairwell, they heard the door above them open. However, when they got up to the top, Dumbledore didn't greet them at the door, instead called.

"Come in, my friends!" Tonks laughed and Snape muttered something under his breath as they entered the room to find Dumbledore engaging in a game of Exploding Snap with a peculiarly dressed house elf, who was bouncing like he'd had a Springing Spell cast on him as cards exploded. They watched for a few moments while the game ended, and Dumbledore finally got around to turning his attention to them.

"Ah, Dobby, this is Nymphadora Tonks and Severus Snape. I'm sure you've heard of Severus." Dobby, wearing a bright hunter orange vest and purple polka-dotted shorts nodded wildly and then bowed so low his nose touched the ground before the two of them.

"Indeed HeadmasterSir, Dobby has served ProfessorSnapeSir many snacks! Hello ProfessorSnapeSir! NynniphadoraTonksMa'am!" Tonks smiled and extended a hand down to Dobby, who took it with wide eyes and after a moments consideration, kissed the back of it. "NynniphadoraTonksMa'am is treating Dobby like an equal!? Only HeadmasterDumbledoreSir and HarryPotterSir have treated Dobby thusly before! Dobby is honoured to meet Nynn-"

"Just Tonks is fine, Dobby," she broke in, still smiling. The elf nodded wildly, kissed the back of her hand two times in quick succession, and then bowed low again.

"Can Dobby be getting sirs and ma'am anything else?"

"Some mint humbugs, perhaps Dobby? Please," Tonks said, and after bowing low again, Dobby snapped his fingers and disappeared. No sooner had they been seated around a small dining table that had been transfigured from Albus' desk before Dobby reappeared with a small bowl of mints that he placed beside Tonks, who laughed and leaned over and kissing the eccentric elf on the forehead.

Dobby went beet-red and stammered his thanks and praise several times before he remembered how to disapparate and snapped his fingers.

END PART 3! (beta'd)

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_**A/N: I can't believe the nice responses I've been getting so far! **_

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed, and please, feel free to tell me if I've missed anything, or spelled something wrong...whatever. Only through input can I do a proper job :) Also: taking recommendations for scenes. If I use one you suggest, I'll credit you for it :) **_

_**Thanks to :DDrinki4, TeenTypist, and Ella Palladino for reviewing :)**_


	4. Mr Qualify the Nice Guy

_**Disclaimer: I dont own any of the characters mentioned in this fic, nor Hogwarts (well, who in my mind is a character). Jk Rowling does. She and warner brothers and whoever else has any rights to Harry Potter books. This is not intended for profit, only for fun, and I in no way claim to be talented. **_

_**Character Pairings: Severus Snape/Nymphadora Tonks **_

_**Warnings: Mild use of language, adult situations, possible slight ooc (though i try desperately to avoid that) **_

_**This contains no overly complex plot, and is written mainly to make people smile while hopefully avoiding being overly cheesy although I do NOT mind cheesy, so..yeah **_

_**A/N: I grew fascinated with (after reading several that made me shudder) the idea of if a Snape-Tonks romance could be pulled off even halfway believably, without going horribly ooc on the characters or making it gag-a-maggot sweet. I dont know for sure if everything is going to work out in the end, it may not do so. Keeps it interesting for me. If you spot any errors in any of the chapters, please leave them in a review so I can correct them (thanks to my beta for suggesting this--revised note May 9,2004)**_

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Tonks threw herself backwards on to the huge gold and green four-poster bed in her new bedroom, and giggled as she looked around. She was a teacher. The thought struck home just then. She really was a teacher. She was responsible for more than just herself and her partner now.

_Wow. _

Wait a second, she didn't even have a partner now.

_**Oh crud. **_

Who was she going to talk to when things got to be too much for her? It was not like Kingsley would understand how hard it was to watch over 30 something odd kids several times a day. To have to hand out detentions and ta-

She was getting ahead of herself.

Surely it wouldn't be THAT bad. They were just kids. She was the adult. **The responsible one. **She could handle it. She could teach them. As soon as she figured out where to start, that was. Organization was NOT one of her strong points. But she would almost bet Severus was organized...

That led to another thought, and then another, and before she realized it, instead of falling asleep, she was on her knees in front of the fire, tossing in a bit of floo powder, and calling out the Potions masters address.

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Severus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose as he looked down at a paper he was writing about improvements on the Polyjuice Potion. He detested writing. Working with his hands on his potions was much more enjoyable. However, seeing his name in print, and being honoured for what he was, made it almost worth it.

With that in mind, he turned his attention back to the paper, and had just touched the tip of his quill to the parchment when a chime sounded throughout the room, and as he swiftly looked over, the fire turned green.

Getting to his feet, he strode over just as Tonks' head appeared and sank down in front of the fire. "Yes?"

"Er...Sev...verus. Uhm, see, I'm not too good with this teaching stuff. I know I've got to do er...lesson plans? But I don't even know where to start." She concentrated and grew long lashes, which she batted playfully at him. "Would you be willing to help me? Pleaaaaaase?"

He resisted both the urge to sigh in annoyance, and grin at the Metamorphmagus. Instead he settled for a sharp nod. "Bring your notebooks here. Floo through if you'd like."

"OOooh! Severus Snape, I adore you!"

He rolled his eyes. "Sometime tonight, woman."

"Yes, Master." She winked and disappeared from view for a second. He'd barely had time to rise to his feet and back up before she came through the floo, several notebooks and random papers clasped in her arms.

Immediately she stumbled, and he grabbed her around the waist to keep her from falling.

When they realised the position that put them in, with her backside pressed against him, and his arm holding her to him, they both froze for a long moment, and then he hastily withdrew his arm, and Tonks took a step away, blushing.

"So-oo," she said shakily. "Where do I put these, and where do we start?"

Swallowing hard, Severus pointed to the inn-table in front of the black leather couch facing the fire. "There will be fine. Did you bring a quill?" She glared at him.

"I'm not an idiot Sev...verus."

He smirked at her. "Did you bring ink? And you may call me Sev, woman, since you seem incapable of stringing my name together properly." He crossed his arms and stared at her. "However, never in public and if you tell anyone I've let you, that privilege will be rescinded immediately." _'Ugh. I'm going soft.'_

She went red as she sat down everything she'd brought with her where he indicated. There was no inkbottle in the lot. Tonks looked up at him at his next words, and nibbled on her lower lip as she considered him, finally saying softly: "Thank you." _'Only he has to put limits on being nice,' _the Metamorphmagus thought with a mental grin before she patted the seat beside her and opened the blank ledgers. "Where do I start?"

Two hours later Tonks closed the last book with a triumphant sound, and turned to face the Potions Master. "I could kiss you!"

'_I wish you would,'_ he surprised himself with the thought, and immediately sneered at her. "I seriously doubt that." He grabbed up the bottle of green ink he'd let her write with, and strode over to his desk, where he placed it down easily before turning back to her.

He found her studying him carefully, and had to resist the urge to shift under her stare. _'What the bloody hell is she thinking?'_ he wondered.

'_Why does he have to be such an arse? He has moments where he's almost nice, and then goes and pulls something like that. Over a simple light-hearted comment.'_ A small voice in the back of her head whispered that maybe he had a cob up his rear, and her lips twitched as she fought vainly not to smile. "I don't understand you, Severus Snape," she finally said.

He arched a brow. "I can say the same of you, Nynniphadora Tonks."

Tonks stared at him in shock for a moment, and then burst out with: "You made a joke!", and promptly fell over on the couch laughing helplessly.

Snape frowned in consternation and walked over to the couch, where he put his hands on the back ridge and stared down at her. "I do have a sense of humour," he said flatly. He had to wait a long moment for a response, and when it came, it was surprisingly serious.

"I see that now, Sev." At this, he walked around to the front of the couch, and offered a hand to her.

"You should get all the rest you can, those brats will drive you up the walls on a good day. Sleep-lacked you'll be a candidate for St. Mungos." Tonks nodded as he helped her up, and as she bent down to pick her stuff up, said:

"You know, for a supposedly greasy git..." she straightened up, her eyes meeting his, "sometimes you're alright." Then she took a pinch of floo powder from a pocket of her trousers and was through the fire before he had a chance to respond.

He did anyways, saying to the air. "And sometimes you surprise me."

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_**A/N: I can't believe the nice responses I've been getting so far! Thanks to everyone who's reviewed, and please, feel free to tell me if I've missed anything, or spelled something wrong...whatever. Only through input can I do a proper job :) Also: taking recommendations for scenes. If I use one you suggest, I'll credit you for it :)**_

_**Thanks to: MajinSakuko and TeenTypist!**_


	5. The Ground Base Insult with those Three ...

_**Disclaimer: I dont own any of the characters mentioned in this fic, nor Hogwarts (well, who in my mind is a character). Jk Rowling does. She and warner brothers and whoever else has any rights to Harry Potter books. This is not intended for profit, only for fun, and I in no way claim to be talented. **_

_**Character Pairings: Severus Snape/Nymphadora Tonks **_

_**Warnings: Mild use of language, adult situations, possible slight ooc (though i try desperately to avoid that) **_

_**This contains no overly complex plot, and is written mainly to make people smile while hopefully avoiding being overly cheesy although I do NOT mind cheesy, so..yeah **_

_**A/N: I grew fascinated with (after reading several that made me shudder) the idea of if a Snape-Tonks romance could be pulled off even halfway believably, without going horribly ooc on the characters or making it gag-a-maggot sweet. I dont know for sure if everything is going to work out in the end, it may not do so. Keeps it interesting for me. If you spot any errors in any of the chapters, please leave them in a review so I can correct them (thanks to my beta for suggesting this--revised note May 9,2004)**_

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"Allllright...Slytherins and Gryffindors rivalry is still a main thing, I see," Tonks muttered as she sat on front side of her desk and waited for everyone to get into the room. Harry and company were still right outside the door exchanging words with Malfoy and two she'd nicknamed Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum the minute she saw them running (well, lumbering actually) around the school. _'C'mon Harry. Get yer arse in here. I don't want to yell. I really don't want to-' _The bell rang, and although Hermione hurried inside, the rest of them still showed no inclination of stepping into the room. _'Allllrighty then.' _"OI! YOU NERDS! YES, YOU TWO! THE ONES FIGHTING LIKE AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE AND THEIR CHILDREN! GET YER ARSES IN HERE!"

At the yell, everyone in the class went perfectly quiet in shocked silence as the ones she'd yelled at came in to the room, their faces burning hotly, and took their seats. Then, almost as if she'd held a cue card for laughter up, someone started laughing and it spread like wildfire until even Hermione's lips were twitching. The bushy haired girl nudged Harry, and Tonks could make out her saying, "Well, you did deserve it" to him. Harry kept his eyes determinedly on the book in front of him, and Tonks sighed. _'Perhaps it wasn't the BEST way to get their attention.'_

Malfoy had no problem with keeping his eyes on her though, and she could practically feel the boy's hatred from here. Raising a brow, she let her eyes travel across the room to the slim blonde, and smiled brightly at him. He mouthed something indistinct although she could see "my father" and Tonks snorted. "could give Lockhart a run for his money in sheer stupidity," she mouthed back at him, and then cleared her throat. "Okay you lot. Shut up."

The class fell silent and she grinned bravely at them. "Now, I'm Tonks. You will call me Professor Tonks or just Tonks. I will not tell you my first name, so don't even think of asking. It's horrid. I was an Auror. Just taking some time off to see if I can teach you lot. Your former professor, Lupin, said you're teachable enough." Her eyes darted to Malfoy. She really didn't understand the boy, cousin or not. _'It must just be the Malfoy blood,'_ She thought. "Once you get over some serious who's the boss issues. So let's make this clear enough." Her eyes went back to the class in general. "If you think you're better'n me, get front and center right now and I'll duel ya. Got me?"

They chorused "Yes, Professor Tonks", and she stared at them, then shuddered once. A cursory glance around the room showed Malfoy fidgeting, but other than that, no signs of anyone wanting to approach and duel her. Another minute passed, and then she grinned. "Right. Now, I hate homework, so I say I'd hate grading homework anymore, which means you'll rarely get theory stuff." That caused a cheer. "HOWEVER: You should expect lots of practical stuff..." her eyes met Hermione's and Ron's, and thankfully, Harry's and she gave them a small smile, "and I WILL initiate duels myself, and assign someone to attack another one of you out of the blue. You will learn to be on your guard at all times. **CONSTANT VIGILIANCE**!" she ended on a bark and then laughed at the expression on all their faces. "That said, I need someone to tell me what was the last thing the majority of you have practiced...even independently from class."

As expected, Hermione's hand shot up, and she nodded at her. The girl immediately recited most of what they'd studied last year in the DA and after she was done, Tonks merely blinked once and said: "Alright then, everyone on your feet, wands out, clear the desks to the sides of the room, and get ready to go over a few blocks."

It was amazing how fast the kids could move when motivated.

As soon as they had cleared everything to the sides, Tonks lined them up, alternating Slytherins and Gryffindors. The dirty looks they tossed each other were almost unbelievable and gave her an idea. "I was going to do something different...but, seeing how all of you are, I have an idea." Mischievousness danced in her eyes, and she took out her own wand. "Free for all."

Malfoy smirked.

Tonks aimed her wand subtly in his direction. "Only thing is, no Unforgiveables, and no permanent curses. One two three GO!" She counted so fast for a second no one reacted, then Malfoy opened his mouth to utter a curse. "Impedimentia," she whispered.

The next thing she knew she was spelling up a block against Petrificus Totalis and dodging a jelly-legs curse from Hermione. A wicked grin curved her lips. She shouted a battle cry and started firing spells randomly. It shifted quickly from attack the teacher to a full out battle, with students keeling over left and right. "CONFISCATE!" she yelled, and began scooping up wands from frozen or stupefied students. Malfoy managed to get Harry's with an Expelliarmus, but he retaliated by grabbing a petrified Ron's wand and yelling a curse that made Malfoy grow an extra leg and arm, then Expelliarmus-ed and got his wand and Malfoy's. With a grin he aimed them both at the awkwardly balancing boy and shouted "Stupefy."

The blonde-haired ferret dropped like a ton of bricks.

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Looking back as she levitated four kids to the hospital wing, Tonks could tell that after teaching them a block, maybe declaring it a free for all wasn't the smartest idea. But she'd thought surely it would teach them to be on their guard. It probably would have went over a little bit if it hadn't been Gryffindors and Slytherins.

She didn't know the runts KNEW that many spells.

No wonder Severus qualified himself so much. It was necessary just to survive.

Merlin, she had a lot to learn.

Reaching the doors of the hospital wing, she yelled for Pomfrey who threw open the doors and after taking the scene in, gave Tonks an amazed and disapproving look. "Should I be expecting this regularly?" she asked harshly as she took control of two of the students and pointed towards the beds. When Tonks had laid her two down, she looked at Pomfrey and gave a crooked grin.

"If I say probably, are you going to curse me?"

Pomfrey nodded.

Tonks gulped and ran for it.

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Lunch was a bit uncomfortable for Tonks. By this time most of the teachers had heard about her first class, and although the second one was considerably tamer, Tonks knew she was in for it.

No sooner had she sat down, in between Snape and McGonagall than the transfigurations teacher turned to her with a tight-lipped smile and asked if she had enjoyed her first experience as a teacher.

Right then Nymphadora had a seriously childish urge to throw a scoop of her mashed potatoes in Minerva's face. Instead she smiled back and shrugged her shoulders. "Rocky start, but rather fun all together. You know, get Slytherins and Gryffindors together in a free for all, and you really gotta learn to watch your arse. 'Bout as bad as a Death Eater fight. Talk about keeping fit! More teachers should do it!"

The scandalized look on McGonagall's face was well worth any discomfort she suffered. Especially the pain on her arse from where'd she'd been hit by Harry with Furnuculus right on the rear. From her other side she heard a muffled laugh, and turned towards Severus with a cheeky grin while McGonagall turned with relief towards Dumbledore, relishing in the easy, expected conversation with the slightly insane headmaster.

"Something funny, Sev," a delicate cough, "erus, dear?" _'Funny how quick that man can change facial expressions,' _she thought to herself as he got the familiar sneer on his face. In the moment, she named it the Cob sneer, for it was the one he always wore when he had a figurative cob up his rear.

"Do NOT call me by any of those appalling pet names, Tonks."

"Sorry, macho man, forgot about your precious dignity," Tonks returned softly and sweetly, fluttering her mauve lashes at him.

"Woman..." he muttered, glaring at her, and it was too much. Tonks couldn't resist.

Reaching a hand out, she laid it on his arm and looked up at him with an expression of total innocence. "I love you too, Man."

Laughter broke out at the teachers' tables from Hagrid and surprisingly enough- McGonagall, who couldn't help but overhear. Tonks was the ONLY one that would ever dare talk like that to Severus. They quickly quieted at the looks of amazement from quite a few of the students in the Great Hall, many who gaped to see Tonks looking so personal with the Potions Master.

Severus narrowed his eyes at Tonks, and then smirked. Two could play at that game.

Leaning forward, he inclined his head towards hers, moving to whisper in her ear. "You do know what this looks like, don't you?" He brought one hand up to cup at her shoulder, and squeezed it playfully. "Shame on you, making out with the greasy Potions Master; at the Great Hall nonetheless. Is this your work ethic?" Snape leaned back and smirked smugly at her then, noting the absolute quiet of the students.

Tonks stared at him with wide bright brown eyes for a long second, not believing he'd retaliated like he did, and then she reacted. Her head thrown back, Tonks' laughter echoed throughout the hall. "Severus Snape..." she gasped out a minute later, not oblivious to the scene around her, just not particularly caring. "You're adorable."

Flushing as sniggers and snickers began to escalate in the room at this announcement of hers, Snape rose to his feet and made a sharp half-bow to the teachers. "I have work to do," he said, then turned and strode from the hall with a stormy expression on his face.

'_How the hell does that woman always get one up on me?'_

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No sooner had he exited the Great Hall than the mark on his arm began to burn and he surreptitiously clutched at it, frowning. Voldemort rarely called during the day. Looking around him, Snape strode off as quickly as he could towards his chambers to grab his mask and scribble a quick note to Albus telling him where he was going.

Then he was almost running out of Hogwarts, towards the Apparation limit in the forest, slipping his mask on as soon as he was within the shadows created by the trees. A moment later he was gone, apparating blindly through his mark and appearing at Voldemort's feet.

Quickly, after paying obeisance to the Dark Lord, Severus snatched glimpses of the area around him out of the corners of his eyes as he stood. _'Merlin...'_ He had been called alone.

That meant the Dark Lord had a special task for him.

"Tell me, Severus, are the rumours of a Metamorphmagus teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts for Dumbledore now, true?"

'_Oh hell.'_

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_**A/N: I can't believe the nice responses I've been getting so far! Thanks to everyone who's reviewed, and please, feel free to tell me if I've missed anything, or spelled something wrong...whatever. Only through input can I do a proper job :) Also: taking recommendations for scenes. If I use one you suggest, I'll credit you for it :) **_

_**ddrinki4: Its alright :) glad to know you're still around :) I hope you liked this chapter, if not, tell me why, and maybe I'll be able to do something about it :) Thanks! **_

_**Alarase: Thank you! and I use for thoughts because I can't remember how to do the italics properly. (I write this on notepad only) **_

_**TeenTypist: Thanks! It's strange how different people have different tastes. My favourite line when the whole thing was written was the crack about Nynniphadora (but then again I've got a reaaaallly cheesy sense of humour) **_

_**Ella Palladino: Whoever said cheesy WASN'T good? I love cheesy! Thanks for reviewing and mentioning those scenes :) **_

_**I lov Redheads w/ Fangs: Thanks! Yer wish is my command, cap'n!**_


	6. When a Metamorphmagus Gets Wet

_**Disclaimer: I dont own any of the characters mentioned in this fic, nor Hogwarts (well, who in my mind is a character). Jk Rowling does. She and warner brothers and whoever else has any rights to Harry Potter books. This is not intended for profit, only for fun, and I in no way claim to be talented. **_

_**Character Pairings: Severus Snape/Nymphadora Tonks **_

_**Warnings: Mild use of language, adult situations, possible slight ooc (though i try desperately to avoid that) **_

_**This contains no overly complex plot, and is written mainly to make people smile while hopefully avoiding being overly cheesy although I do NOT mind cheesy, so..yeah **_

_**A/N: I grew fascinated with (after reading several that made me shudder) the idea of if a Snape-Tonks romance could be pulled off even halfway believably, without going horribly ooc on the characters or making it gag-a-maggot sweet. I dont know for sure if everything is going to work out in the end, it may not do so. Keeps it interesting for me. If you spot any errors in any of the chapters, please leave them in a review so I can correct them (thanks to my beta for suggesting this--revised note May 9,2004)**_

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Snape strode back to the school from the Apparation point limping slightly. _'A meeting with Voldemort wasn't proper unless the one called got at least two Crucio's from the Dark Lord,' _Severus thought with a mental sneer. _'Maybe I should write a book. Hmm. Crucio's and Curtseys- Your Guide to Meeting the Newest Dark Lord.'_ The thought made him almost chuckle. Almost. If it wouldn't have hurt so bad, he probably would have. The image it brought, of Lucius in a dress with his hair in pig-tails, curtseying to Voldemort was just too much.

His footsteps whispering now on the stone floor of the castle, Snape headed up as was his custom to debrief Dumbledore on Voldemort's latest meglomaniac plan. Thankfully he'd not missed any of his classes, so no questions would (hopefully) arise from the wrong people. It wasn't as if he was a social butterfly who was seen constantly, as Voldemort had informed him, amusement lacing his hissing voice. Amazing how long it took Voldemort to use that. Snape, at times, wasn't even sure that he'd ever been a Slytherin. Much less Slytherin's Heir.

Pausing in front of the gargoyle, Snape leaned in and whispered the password with obvious distaste. "Hotter Potters." It was a recently released type of cinnamon flavoured chew that gave the wearer green eyes that were supposed to be "just like the-boy-who-lived's". _'Potter probably whole-heartedly endorsed them,'_ he thought with a sneer._ 'Big headed idiotic Gryffindor.'_ The gargoyle slid to the side and Severus stepped on the ascending steps, striding up them even as it turned, in his impatience.

He had more important things to do. Like talk to Tonks after he took care of his blasted class. Tell her what was going on. _'Hm, and how is that conversation going to go? Oh hello Nymphadora. You're looking smashing. By the way, the Dark Lord wants us to get extremely close. No, not because of the fact that it would be a possible little Death Eater on the way. You see, he wants you to be his newest recruit. If I can't convert you, I'm to kill you. So, how about dinner tonight? Sevenish?_' he smirked. That was probably a sure way to get himself hexed out of her chambers.

"The meeting went well?" Dumbledore asked when he saw the smirk upon his Potions Master's face. Snape blinked. "Er...No. Actually it went quite badly." He stepped into the room when Dumbledore invited him in, but didn't head for the chair as usual. Instead he crossed his arms and sighed internally. "I was quite right in one of our earlier conversations when I questioned how we would react to the Dark Lord's involvement. Only its a bit different."

"Oh?" Dumbledore moved behind his desk and opened a drawer, getting out the tin of lemon drops. Snape gave him a glare that could have froze the balls off a brass monkey, and Dumbledore chuckled quite unexpectedly.

"Don't worry, Severus. Minerva told me off rather soundly last night. I shall refrain from offering any of the teachers lemon drops from now on." He took the lid off the tin, got one, and popped it in his mouth. "But..." he put the lemon drops away and lifted an emerald green tin from the drawer, "have you tried the new Hotter Potters? They make a wonderful taste contrast to Lemon Drops."

"Alllllllbussssss..."

"Ah, very well." The old man shook his head slightly and sat down in his chair, keeping the tin out for after he'd finished his lemon drop. Snape looked very deliberately away from the eye-catching green tin that was a somewhat weak imitation of the colour of Potter's eyes.

"As I was trying to say...the Dark Lord wishes me to get romantically involved with Nymphadora and then persuade her to switch sides. If possible, get her to act as a second spy. If I cannot persuade her to switch sides, I am then to kill her."

The twinkle went from Dumbledore's eyes for the briefest moment, but he rejoined swiftly, and jovially enough. "Then it is a good thing we've already talked about her dying, is it not? This, my dear boy, just gives you a chance to admit that you like her without sacrificing any pride. Although I dare say you should hear some of the rumours that are circulating around the school right now after that little bout of flirting you two engaged in at lunch."

"WE WERE NOT FLIRTING!" Snape's eyes snapped back towards Dumbledore, and he blushed faintly at the almost unbelievable twinkling of the man's eyes.

"As you say, Severus, as you say."

The Potions Master stood there for a moment, his mouth working, and then he gave Albus a patented death-glare, and swept from the room.

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Would they think him nuts if he banged his head against his desk? Did he really care? Unfortunately yes. The last thing he needed was Draco reporting to Lucius that he was losing his mind. Even if it was the fault of the class. He was brewing the Integrum Pulpa potion in his fourth year. They were in their sixth! And the other teachers wondered why he was in a bad mood constantly. He was dealing with absolute dunderheads!

Sighing, he raised a hand and rubbed at the bridge of his nose, and gritted out. "If everyone does not manage to make this potion correctly, the next few classes will be more unpleasant than you can possibly dream of." His eyes darted to the form of Longbottom, who was stirring feverishly at his cauldron. "Especially for the one who is on his way to messing the potion up as we speak. LONGBOTTOM!" Neville's eyes snapped up to Snape's and he visibly cowered. "What direction are you stirring in?"

"Er...uh..." Neville swallowed hard and stared down at his hands, which were still stirring. "Counter-clockwise, sir."

"What direction does the board say to stir the potion in, Mr. Longbottom?" he asked silkily, smirking.

"C-c..." Neville's eyes widened as he re-read the boards instructions, and then he gulped. "Clockwise, sir."

"Mr. Longbottom?"

"Yes, Professor Sn-Snape, sir?" Severus strode over, and stood next to Neville with his arms crossed. He waited a moment, still smirking, to build up the fear in Longbottom, and then barked at him.

"GET OUT OF MY SIGHT, YOU INCOMPETENT LITTLE IDIOT!" Neville squeaked and ran from the classroom without even grabbing his bag.

Snape just sighed and raised a brow at the dirty looks the Gryffindors were throwing him. "I suggest you get back to work before I mark every single one of your house at 0 percent for the day." Turning to walk back up to his desk, he muttered, "I may just do it anyways on the basis of how much you bloody idiots annoy me."

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Finally, after what seemed like ages, the class was over, and he ordered everyone to bottle a sample of their potion and bring it to the front of the room. As Granger approached, he bit out. "Tell Longbottom he is to have written a four foot essay on the Integrum Pulpa potion and the proper way to make it before he steps another foot in this class." She gave him an extremely dirty look at started to open her mouth. Snape just sneered. "And if he does not do so, it will affect your grade, since I gave you the responsibility of telling him."

'_It really is satisfying,'_ he reflected as he left the Potions classroom, locking it after every student had left, and headed towards the DADA teacher's chambers, _'to torment know-it-alls.'_ Smirking, he stopped in front of the painting that led to Tonks' quarters, and formally requested entrance into the chamber. A moment later he heard Tonks yell something and the portrait swung open to reveal a rather...wet Metamorphmagus who was hurriedly tying her bathrobe ties.

He stepped in, the portrait swung shut behind him (chuckling madly), and raised a brow. "What did you do, wo-Tonks? Jump in the shower as soon as your class was over?" Her hair, he decided, looked good wet, especially since she had it a bit longer than he'd usually saw it. Quite a normal colour for that matter, too. Snape frowned slightly and stepped forward, reaching out a hand when he was close enough and lifting a lock of the jet-black wet silk. He rubbed it softly as he contemplated something, and then looked down at her as she stuttered a yes. _'Tonks...stuttering?'_

Tonks had not expected anyone to come into her room. Least of all the Potions Master. All she'd been thinking about was getting a nice hot shower to wipe away the feeling of the looks some of the older students had been sending her. Not to mention the tingly effects of some of the spells she'd been hit with. She WAS going to find out who fired that clothes removal spell at her. _'Thank goodness I ducked in time!'_ She didn't particularly mind that Snape had come to visit her though. He was a bit snarky, but the man HAD helped her out. Plus there was the whole internal fight she'd had with herself about whether or not to become his friend. So she greeted him with a smile as she hastily tied her bathrobe, and started to ask what he was doing here when he interrupted her, and then he'd taken her by surprise with stepping so close to her. In her natural form, Severus practically loomed over her.

Her eyes wide, she stared up at him in consternation as he played with her hair before finally managing to answer him. She promptly blushed in embarrassment at the fact she'd tripped over her words, and murmured something about getting a towel for her hair before escaping momentarily into the bathroom.

Snape stared after her, blinking a few times before the smirk grew slowly into a cocky grin as he realized she'd been so off-kilter because of him. _'What a wicked web I can weave with that,'_ he thought and used the time she was in the bathroom to summon a house elf and order it to retrieve a bottle of claret for him. This was a delicate matter that would not be helped by the consumption of fire-whiskey. They both needed to be fully alert and for some reason, he suspected that Tonks probably wasn't the best person for holding her liquor. _'But then again, you never know. She is quite different from normal human beings. I wonder how her body does react to things like alcohol? Maybe I'll get a chance to find out later. I hope I do.' _The grin had long faded into an impassive expression, but at his last thought, the smirk returned as he admitted it wouldn't be for a purely professional reason that he wanted to see how she reacted to alcohol. _'If she's anything in the bedroom like she is normally...fiery little witch...'_

Just then, Tonks emerged from the bathroom, and the house elf re-appeared, handing him the bottle of nicely aged drink. She copied his earlier expression by raising a brow at the sight of the drink, and he snapped away from his rather lecherous thoughts to ask where she located her glasses. She'd replied with a question in her voice, which he ignored until he'd poured them both a glass, and handed hers to her. "We need to talk," he said finally, and gestured over to the couch.

Frowning, she led the way to the over-stuffed piece of furniture, and sat down on the edge of it, staring at him as he moved to sit beside her. "About what?"

"The fact that the Dark Lord wants me to get intimately acquainted with you."

She squeaked. Actually squeaked, then burst out with: "Voldemort wants you to have sex with me?"

He groaned. "I mean romantically involved, not necessarily bug-have sex-making l-Oh, bloody hell, you're the only one who can leave me tongue-tied!" Snape sighed and took a sip of the claret, savouring the flavour for a long moment. "I am to worm my way into your heart until you'd do anything for me, and then convert you to the Dark's side. If I do not succeed, I'm to kill you then."

She blinked then gulped at her drink. Finally, shakily, she put it down on the small table beside her, and said, "Well, Severus Snape, it looks like you just got yourself a girlfriend."

It was his turn to be shocked, and all he could say was, "Why?" She rolled gray eyes and snorted. "Because, you're that side of a git, but I don't want you on the Dark Lord's piss-list. We'll deal with this one step at a time."

"Dark Lord's Piss-List?"

"Better'n the Moldyshort's Racing Stripes?" It took him a moment to figure that one out, but when he did, it was Severus' turn for a full-belly laugh.

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_**A/N: Well, there ya have it. What did y'all think? **_

_**Thanks to: MajinSakuko (my beta! and it may come to that (fight) but I'm not telling ;)), I lov Redheads w/ Fangs (of course), Noelle Andrews (welcome to mah story!), the mysterious "someone" (thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!), Amsev (yes, it was disgusting), TeenTypist (I try to be)**_


	7. Lucius A Muggle Balloon?

_**Disclaimer: I dont own any of the characters mentioned in this fic, nor Hogwarts (well, who in my mind is a character). Jk Rowling does. She and warner brothers and whoever else has any rights to Harry Potter books. This is not intended for profit, only for fun, and I in no way claim to be talented. **_

_**Character Pairings: Severus Snape/Nymphadora Tonks **_

_**Warnings: Mild use of language, adult situations, possible slight ooc (though i try desperately to avoid that) **_

_**This contains no overly complex plot, and is written mainly to make people smile while hopefully avoiding being overly cheesy although I do NOT mind cheesy, so..yeah **_

_**A/N: I grew fascinated with (after reading several that made me shudder) the idea of if a Snape-Tonks romance could be pulled off even halfway believably, without going horribly ooc on the characters or making it gag-a-maggot sweet. I dont know for sure if everything is going to work out in the end, it may not do so. Keeps it interesting for me. If you spot any errors in any of the chapters, please leave them in a review so I can correct them (thanks to my beta for suggesting this--revised note May 9,2004)**_

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"I can't do this."

"Yes you can."

"Can not."

"Can too."

"Can not."

"Ca-Nymphadora Tonks if you do not get your derriere in that room with me, I will personally bend you over my knee and tan your hide."

"One, you spanking me is sort of a kinky thought, therefore likely to make me MORE disobedient, and two..." She looked up and grinned cheekily at him. "I'm a Metamorphmagus, Sev. I can tan my own hide, thank you very much!"

"Toooonks..." he growled in semi-frustration, trying not to dwell on the "kinky" image she'd put in his mind. "It won't kill you. It's just a restaurant."

"Pfft! No one needs to attempt to kill me, I do that to myself on an every day basis." She worried her lower lip."It's nice," she said finally.

Snape raised a brow. "Did you really think I'd take you out on our first public date to a low-scale...eatery?" He practically sneered the last word, and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"That's not what I mean, booger. I mean it's nice as in expensive. Meaning by the time I get done breaking things we'll have to pay for half the restaurant."

"Nymphadora, I have aske...do you..." The black-haired man took a deep breath, got his tongue under control, and began again. "Booger should not be used as a pet name. You shouldn't use any on me as it is, I detest them, but must you use one so appalling in imagery?"

Tonks smirked at him, and he reflected then that he'd been a bad influence on her. Already she was becoming a master of stares, glares, and smirks. Although, according to her, it was a good thing. It helped bring his Slytherins in line when they were misbehaving. To him, and most other people, it was a bad thing. It felt like he was corrupting her, and to them, he was ruining that particular brash innocence that Tonks had.

He snorted. If there was one thing he'd learned from spending time around the Metamorphmagus, it was that she didn't have an innocent bone in her body. The girl could give Fred and George Weasley a run for their money with pranks, and had a mouth that could make a sailor blush if she had the want to. Innocent, his ass. He'd learned new curse words from her. However, she did have her moments. Like the time he'd walked up on her and Hagrid when he'd been showing her a puppy he'd gotten that he was going to raise "as a lady fer fluffy. If fluffy would take ter a one-headed lady like Maybelle."

At six weeks old the dog already stood half-calf high on her. She'd adored it, flopping down and cuddling it close. It was enough to make a man sick. Not that he'd ever say that to Hagrid. The half-giant was a bit too large for Snape to risk insulting his "pets". Nor, now that he thought about it, would he say anything about them ever again to her. His ears had burned for a half hour after she got done dressing him down for putting down the "poor puppy." Apparently, she'd been taking lessons from Molly Weasley in temper.

She was eyeing him strangely now, and he realized he'd been caught up in his thoughts. Recovering quickly, he leaned down and gave her an extremely swift and light peck on the cheek. Perfunctory, but it served its purpose, without having to embarrass him for public displays of affection. "You'll be fine. You won't break any...more than one or two things, and I CAN afford it." A light blush stained her cheeks, but she made no more protest and let him lead her into the restaurant, watching as carefully as she could, where she was going. Her eyes on her feet, she proved she trusted him, by letting him lead her straight to their table without hardly ever looking up.

He pulled back her chair while she was looking down, casting a death-glare at the waiter who'd went to do it, and then said calmly. "It generally helps to eat if you're sitting down." Her eyes snapped up, and she flushed before taking her seat, which the waiter scooted in for her.

Snape seated himself, and after the waiter had placed menus down for them, and walked away, said softly. "Now, have you had any experience with proper dining utensils?"

"Eh...yeah? Spoon, fork and knife. Everyone uses them." She frowned at him, wondering where he was going with it, and then followed his gaze to the tabletop, where there were several different forks and spoons. "Oh bloody hell."

"Nymph-" She HAD gotten good at those glares. "That is not the type language one uses in an establishment such as this."

"What's wrong with a good bloody hell every once in a while?"

Snape groaned, and resisted an urge to palm-slap his forehead. "Just...don't...do...it," he gritted out slowly with his eyes closed, and she repressed a snigger, not wanting to give him a heart attack.

"Alright, alright. So. Why all these forks and spoons?" He opened his eyes then, and started explaining.

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"So, you mean to tell me in all these years, you've never once at least ja-" He coughed pointedly and she grinned impishly. "Well, have you?"

"How in the world you got this topic from me admitting to your question that it's been a while since I have been intimate-"

"You HAVE!!" She burst out, covering her mouth with her hands and giggling madly.

"I am a ma-. I do get lone-. **Aargh!** I don't need to justify my actions to you!" He snapped, and her eyes danced as she returned sweetly.

"I never said you did, Severus."

'_Blasted witch! I must have had a feverish moment when I developed even the slightest bit of respect for her.' 'Oh stop your grumbling, Severus. You just don't like it because she can one-up you without even trying.'_ _'Shut up!'_ The voice in his head faded, and he nearly sighed in relief. Conscience was a most annoying thing. Especially when it began arguing with you. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the expected familiar pale-blonde hair coming their way, and lightly kicked her under the table. Not hard enough to make her yelp, but hard enough to make her aware. She picked up her soup spoon, and as she was raising it to her lips, muttered, "I know," then drank it. She was just patting her lips with her napkin as Lucius finally got within polite speaking range of their table, and looked up at him with a surprised expression that was tempered forcibly with less than her usual amount of dislike. "Wotcher, Lucius."

"Greetings, Lucius."

"Hello Severus...and...Nymphadora? What a surprise to see you two here together!" His eyes implied it was nothing of the sort. Her eyes darkened at her proper name, and Snape kicked again under the table.

'_Going to hurt that man.'_

"I trust all has been well?"

"As well as can be expected, old friend. Are you here with Narcissa or friends?" Severus thought he already knew that answer, but he was also smart enough to know that you didn't get on the bad side of Lucius Malfoy. Sometimes he thought if Voldemort passed gas hard enough, Lucius would blow up like a Muggle balloon and zoom away. That rather entertaining thought made his lips twitch, and it was all he could do to stifle a grin.

"With business associates, actually. Things that needed discussing." Lucius' pale eyes met Snape's with meaning, and Snape nodded curtly, thinking to himself, _'and a Potions Master that needed watching to make sure he was complying to the Dark Lord's latest plan.' _He had no doubt that Lucius had been sent here to spy on him as soon as Snape had told Voldemort that he'd arranged a date with the girl. "So..." Lucius turned his attention to Tonks and smiled, "are you enjoying your date with Severus?"

Tonks had used the time during their conversation to look around the restaurant Severus had brought her to, and her eyes widened slightly. It was just as posh as she'd thought it was, if not more so. _'Oh Merlin! I'm going to break something. I'm going to break something. I'm going to break something. I don't care what he says, I know I'm going to break something.' _It registered then that Lucius had been speaking to her, and as soon as she pieced together what he had said, she answered. "Isn't it quite rude to ask that in front of said date?" He flushed, and she smirked. _'Score!' _"But yes, Lucius, I am quite enjoying myself. Severus is a very...entertaining..." Her eyes met his, and he knew she was recalling what they were talking about before Malfoy had approached, "companion, and a delight to be around."

Swallowing back his anger, the blonde-haired Slytherin rejoined, "Most excellent. Well, do enjoy yourselves. Don't do anything I wouldn't do?"

"Oh don't worry, tor-" She glared at Snape. "tormenting Severus is something I know you'd never do, but I have no compunctions about it." Ashamed after it happened, that she shared any amusement with the Death Eater, both she and Lucius smirked before he walked away. Instantly, as soon as it was safe, Tonks snapped her head back to look at Severus and bit out. "You didn't need to bloody kick me so much."

"Oh really?" He just stared at her, and she flushed for the umpteenth time that night.

'_Bloody annoying git. Always pointing out the''...The obvious?' 'Shut up!_' Conscience was the most annoying thing, especially when it developed its own mind and started arguing with you! "Oh shut up."

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_**A/N: I was going to do more, but this just seemed appropriate to end it here. What did everyone think? I noticed number of reviews have dropped off, so I'm afraid I'm doing something wrong. If I am, please tell me. **_

_**There had to be SOME plot in here ya know, lol. **_

_**Thanks to Trenidy, sugarbomb53086, ella palladino, and my beta for reviewing :) :) :) :) :)**_


	8. How to Shut up an Old Bat

Authors note: Chapter 8!  
  
character pairings: Snape and Tonks  
  
Warnings: Some ooc is likely, although I've tried to keep it down to a minimum (tell me if i've succeeded?)  
  
Adult language and thoughts.  
  
NO SLASH  
  
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Severus stared at his opponent, eyes narrowed. Sneering, he crossed his arms and settled back in his seat, daring the chit to say a word. Just one word.  
  
His opponent stared back, reaching up a hand to brush silky blue hair away from her face. Her eyes narrowed in mockery of him, and she leaned forward tauntingly. A slim blue brow arched as she looked down at the board between them, and picked up one of her generals. Bringing the metal figure up close to her lips, she whispered something in his ear, and sat him back down. Immediately the general began issuing orders and Tonks smiled as she tossed the figurative ball back into his court.  
  
He growled silently, and reach down, prodding one diminutive figure with his finger. Immediately it withdrew its sword and sliced at him, and Snape snatched his finger back, glaring at the bright drop of blood that welled to the surface. "This is not fair. These bloody pieces are prejudiced." He spat, before sticking the wounded digit in his mouth before he realised what he was doing. At that time, he whipped out his wand and healed the light cut, then lifted a hand to rub between his brows in frustration.  
  
The woman opposing him smirked lazily and gently patted a few of her troops on the head."Or maybe..." She grinned, "you're just a git and they don't like that."  
  
"They could not possibly know the meaning of the word git! All they have to do is obey my commands, and promptly."  
  
"Severus, these pieces are well on their way to a hundred years old. They perfectly well know a git from a sweet player, like moi."  
  
"Sweet my ar-"  
  
"Ah-ah. Language, Severus." Tonks couldn't resist the urge to laugh as she turned the tables on him from that night so seemingly long ago.  
  
"Mind your betters, woman."  
  
"I will when I meet them, man." This was the last straw for the frustrated Potions master, who shot to his feet and glared at the metamorphmagus.  
  
"You are the most infuriating, irritating chit that I have ever had the displeasure of spending time around. This is not an ongoing conte-" He stopped for Tonks had risen to her feet and stepped around the board until she was a mere hands-breadth from him. "contest..." Her eyes were hot, a liquid gold that froze him in his spot.  
  
"Yes, Severus?" She asked, her voice oozing like slytherin silk. Her cheeks were flushed, with what he didnt exactly know, and her lips glimmered with the gloss he knew she was fond of. "Continue..." Nymphadora breathed, sounding positively deadly, daring him to continue to insult her, so that she could react.  
  
He swallowed hard. "contest to see who can one up the..." He froze again as her hand came up to rest on his cheek. It trailed down to his lips and her fingers paused there, lightly touching him.  
  
"You want to know why I do that?" She said as he fell silent again, only to nod in response to her, his black eyes shining. "Because Severus..." She stood on the tips of her toes to bring her mouth closer on level to his, and slid her hands up to his shoulders. "arguing with you gives me a rush like you wouldn't believe. Now shut it, you old bat." and with that, she leaned forward, closing the remaining few inches and pressed her mouth to his.  
  
Her lips were slightly open, as his were, and she caught his lower lip in her mouth, drawing it in and sucking on it lightly before releasing it and twining her fingers through his cleaner than usual hair as she angled her lips to take his mouth fully.  
  
Almost instantly he reacted, his hands coming to her waist, and sliding to her lower back as he brought her close, absently noting that his hands could span her back easily. As he pulled her full against him, he smiled against her lips as her breath caught, and then he began to kiss her back. Severus didn't kiss her gently, no romance was involved. Instead he rotated his hips forward as his tongue darted out, touching her lower lip and then slipping inside her mouth. One hand came up from her lower back, trailing up her spine until he felt the thick mass of her hair, and then he grabbed a handful and tugged her head back abruptly.  
  
She gave a small cry of shock and a little pain, and the Potions master grinned ferally at her before taking her lips again in a storm of movement that broke the tension in the air and left her weak in the knees as she met his lips eagerly. They kissed until the need for air became too much, and then broke away from eachother, Tonks stumbling backwards until she regained her balance, and Snape running his fingers through his disheveled hair as he stared at her again.  
  
They were both breathing heavily, eyes regretful at the parting, and amazed at the kiss itself. He watched hungrily as she brought her fingertips up to her lips, pressing gently against the bruised and slightly swollen flesh. He wanted to kiss her again. He could taste her still and it was all he could do not to storm her again.  
  
She drew in a deep breath, swallowed hard, and looked down at the floor before her eyes met his again. Nymphadora's mouth opened, but no sound came out. Her eyes went back down to the floor and she licked her lower lip tentatively, tasting him still on her.  
  
Seeing how disoriented she was, Snape felt amusement bubbling up inside him, and a chuckle broke the silence finally before he said. "Still think I'm an old bat?"  
  
Tonks grabbed one of the soft throw pillows off of the chair behind her and threw it at him.  
  
That just made the potions master laugh even more.  
  
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A/N: i know this was short but i wanted to get something out, and thought their first kiss deserved a page alone.  
  
Thanks to my beta, teentypist, chickadee, and ella palladino for reviewing.  
  
Ps. I had SO many problems writing this. I've never been kissed like that, so please please please tell me if something wasn't right in it.  
  
Love, Genari 


	9. Sticking Her Foot In It

A/N: I had to post something, and as I really really need help, i figured that this would be the best way possible to do it. What you see is what I have of this chapter so far, but I have no idea exactly how to do things, the words just aren't coming, so if you have an idea and would like to contact me about it, please do so. i'm available at keely brannigan on aim, dreamsmithtress (at) yahoo.com, or you can email me at zarenya (at) earthlink.net  
  
PS-A/N: hopefully this is better..I didn't really receive much help as I hoped :(  
  
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"So, my dear, how are you enjoying your classes?" Dumbledore leaned back in his chair after offering Nymphadora Tonks a lemon drop, and folded his hands on his lap. "I've heard many comments that you have the most interesting lessons. I've even stopped in to see them a few times myself, I hope you don't mind."  
  
Tonks tried to grin at him and say she didn't mind, but at the moment her lips were puckered too tightly for her to do anything from the drop she'd foolishly accepted yet again. Swallowing hard, the tartness faded soon enough and the sweet took over. Immediately she lifted her hands to her jaws and massaged them, glaring across the desk at the headmaster. "Do you memory charm me not to remember how bloody sour those things are or something?"  
  
"But the sweet that comes after makes the tart that much more bearable, does it not?" Dumbledore retorted, and Tonks heaved a sigh, rolling her eyes.  
  
"You know it does, otherwise you wouldn't be addicted to them, Dumbles." As soon as the nickname was out of her mouth, she froze and grimaced at him. "Dumbles-hootlookatthetime??" Tonks said hopefully, not believing she'd had the stupidity to let her pet name for the old man slip in front of him. /I'm going to be fired, going to be so fired. Stupi-/  
  
"Its been a long time since anyone called me that. The last to do so was my grand-daughter."  
  
/He's not mad?/ A sigh of utter relief escaped her lips and she sank down in the chair. "I wont do it again, headmaster. I'm sorry." She was still flushed with embarrassment.  
  
"I don't mind, child. It brings back pleasant memories. Most people are too afraid of me to dare do it, even if they know I don't mind. I'd be honoured if you'd conti-" The flames of his fireplace turned green, and the next moment Kingsley Shacklebolt stepped through the floo. The look on his face kept Tonks from her usual exuberant greeting, and even Dumbledore was off-put by it, completely forgetting to make his usual offer of a lemon drop to the Order member."Kingsley." He said instead, nodding acknowledgment.  
  
The tall black man got right to the point. Without sitting down, or even dusting off his robes, he said bluntly. "Its about Snape."  
  
Tonks went deathly pale and no sooner had Kingsley finished his report than she was on her feet and headed from the castle, saying only that she had something to take care of.  
  
1. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"I have been...informed...by a trusted member of my loyal followers that there is a spy within our ranks. I have suspected so for quite some time, but it appears that this person did his job so well, that he has been passing on information for years. I believe he thought that he would not face death because his skills were so valuable." Voldemort's eyes went round the circle of his closest followers, resting for a long moment on each one, except Lucius Malfoy. It was quite clear then just who the "informant" had been.  
  
When his eyes had completed going round once, the bright red fell to his long fingers, and he studied them with seeming nonchalance as he called out. "Severus, come forth." His eyes never lifted, even as he called him forth, he expected loyalty in movement from the man.  
  
Tonks swallowed hard./Oh, Merlin./ Her eyes darted across the circle to the greasy haired death-eater that had just been called forward to receive his punishment, and Tonks swallowed hard. A second later, as Severus began to step forward confidently, Malfoy stepped up beside him and laid a hand on his shoulder before turning and bowing low to Voldemort. "Milord, I have played the game of respect with this man for far too long, I beg a boon of you before you send him to his well deserved death."  
  
Voldemort's slitted nostrils flared slightly as he looked at the blonde-haired aristocrat in front of him. Malfoy always had been one of his most fervent followers. With Severus gone, He truly would be his second in command. He could let the man have his fun. "What would this boon be, Lucius?"  
  
Tonks inwardly smirked, but answered cooly. "Let that be a surprise gift to you, Milord. I can think of nothing else so fitting as this." Voldemort arched a brow and then waved a hand laconically.  
  
"So be it." With his words, Lucius turned to Severus and almost lovingly pulled the mask from his face. As the potions masters black eyes, large hooked nose, and thin lips were revealed, the blonde laid a hand on one of severus' cheeks and whispered. "I always wanted to see what would happen..." then leaned in and pressed his lips to the greasy gits, in full view of everyone.  
  
No sooner than Lucius lips had touched Severus' before the potions master jerked back and stared at Malfoy with wide disgusted eyes. "sonofa..." He breathed in shock and at the keyword, the emergency portkey Dumbledore had insisted Snape always wear activated and Severus disappeared in the blink of an eye.  
  
With Severus now safe, Tonks used the moment of shock she knew would be working to her advantage, and turned towards Voldemort, childishly sticking out her tongue. "You're a prick. I always wanted to tell you that." Her keyphrase "tell you that" activated the portkey all aurors wore anymore, and as Voldemort stared, "Malfoy" disappeared to.  
  
Immediately Voldemort reacted with the disappearances. His wand snapped into his hand, and he pointed it at Crabbe who was standing at his usual flanking place beside Malfoy. "What just happened here?" Voldemort hissed. "Were you in on this betrayal? Were you?" The stocky troll-like man shook his head dumbly, and a second later was writhing on the ground in the throes of a crucio cast by an enraged dark lord.  
  
One wasn't enough though, and as none of them had the guts to apparate away, each one that was called that night fell under one of several dark curses from Voldemort, until none had the strength to get up.  
  
2. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Snape was deposited in the middle of Dumbledore's office without ado, and the sheer disorientation of the unexpected trip made him rock back on his heels and almost go down. Luckily, Dumbledore, moving with a speed that the old should not naturally possess, moved from his position in the comfy chair behind his desk to beside Severus before they had a chance to blink twice. His hands came out, gripping the younger wizard by the arms, as he steadied him, and asked with concern. "Are you alright?" His eyes raked over every part of the Potions Masters body as he spoke.   
  
Snape looked around, his expression one of confusion as he took into account where he was, and then what had happened. He didn't even hear Dumbledore's words as his brain was busy processing everything. Finally, just as the old wizard was about to summon Pomphrey, Severus spat out a word that shouldn't be said around anyone under the age of fifteen.  
  
Dumbledore blinked, being caught off-guard.  
  
The greasy-haired Potions Master sighed and, with more gentleness than most would give him credit for, shook off the Headmaster's grip and stepped back, giving himself some much needed space. He realised he had a job to do then, and though he had no real clue of where to explain what had just went on, he opened his mouth to begin.  
  
Not one word had a chance to escape from his lips though, as the fireplace behind Dumbledore roared into green life, and Lucius Malfoy came stumbling out. Instantly Severus reacted, drawing his wand and pointing it at the pale-haired man. Dumbledore was just seconds later in leveling his own wand at the Death-Eater, confusion carefully masked.   
  
Malfoy, for his part, seemed blithely unaware of the two wands pointed at him, as he stood up and ran his fingers through his hair before saying brightly, "Wotcher!" as he turned his attention to dusting off his robes.  
  
/What the he-/ Snape thought, but he'd not even finished it before he'd used the intelligence necessary to do what he did, and put two and two together. "Tonks!" He spat out, rage filling him. "What the hell were you trying to do?!"  
  
Nymphadora Tonks looked up from her task, noticed the long blonde hair hanging down, masking her face, and started violently. She had forgotten the fact that she was still in the guise of the Malfoy family patriarch. Shuddering, she put off thinking about what Severus had said long enough to scrunch up her face as she popped a more suitable (and to her, more eye pleasing) look into existence. Finally, with bright green hair, and matching eyes, along with a somewhat angled but definitely a female build, she turned her attention back to the Potions Master, scarcely even noting that Dumbledore was in the room as she allowed indignation to fill her.  
  
"What was I trying to do? Don't you mean what DID I do? I saved your ass, git!" She returned scathingly, crossing her arms and adopting a pose that clearly said Bugger Off. Inwardly she seethed. She'd just SAVED his life, and this is how he reacted? /Stupid..stupid....MAN!/  
  
"I didn't need saving, Nymphadora. I"m quite capable of taking care of myself." His eyes were as hard as obsidian, and he stalked forwards until he towered over her, and she had to lean her head back to look into his eyes. It was a well-used form of intimidation and he had no problem practicing it on her. She made him SO angry. How dare she put her life in danger like that? Attending a death-eater meeting?! She could have been killed! That thought formed a hard knot of sickness in his stomach, that fueled his rage even more. He opened his mouth to continue to berate her when she interrupted.  
  
"Oh yes, Sevvie. Lemme guess, you were going to take on like 30 death-eaters, completely alone.. Do some kung-wizard-foo and whip all their asses, then personally kill the Greatest Bastard before returning heroically to Dumbledore's chambers without a scratch on you. Right?" She snorted, her skin darkening as her ire built.  
  
He blinked. /Kung-wizard-foo? What the hell is that?/ Against his will, his lips twitched just a bit as he tried to imagine what it could be, eventually seeing Dumbledore going HAI-YA! and kicking out like that muggle karate star he'd heard about ages ago while waving his wand around. Quickly though, using his occulumency practices, he shoved the image aside to ponder it later and turned his attention back to the woman who was standing up to him when few would.. "I-.." /How the hell does she DO this?/ He mentally wondered as he searched for words to refute her claim while maintaining his dignity. "Of course I would not have been so foolish as to take on the Dark Lord, twit! But did you not honestly think that I have long since had plans for escaping when I became discovered?" There we go. He was big and bad. The all-knowing male. He would teach her a lesson. No one should ever doubt a Snape.  
  
It was Tonks' turn to be taken aback at his words. Honestly, it hadn't occurred to her. All she knew was that Severus was in danger, and that had caused her to react. However, she was quick to shoot off a reply before she'd really even thought about what to say. "When someone you love is in danger, you don't necessarily think about stuff like that first, Sev!"  
  
Silence fell in the room. Snape opened his mouth to say something, stopped, and closed it with an audible click.  
  
Tonks gulped. She'd really stuck foot in this time. "Oi..." The metamorphmagus murmured, flushing bright red, as she cast about for something...anything...to say to get rid of the silence that had ensued. "and...and...I'm a big girl, git! Quite capable of taking care of myself, as I proved when I told the Dark Lord he was a prick and escaped alive!"  
  
From across the room a chuckle sounded from Dumbledore. They both ignored it, and the Shhh!s that followed afterwards from various portraits of former headmasters and mistresses who wanted to be able to pay full attention to round two of beauty and the bat.  
  
After an agonizing minute in which Nymphadora stared determinedly at her shoes, she heard a quiet- "say that again." from directly in front of her. Licking her lips, she muttered weakly, "I told the dark Lord he was a prick."  
  
"That's not what I'm talking about, Tonks, and you know it." Snape returned, his eyes glued to her, feeling like all his muscles were knotted as he waited for confirmation of something he'd never expected to ever hear.  
  
Her rage had long since faded, but frustration swiftly rose to take its place. Her eyes darted up to his, the vibrant green shifting to a stormy blue. /Why is he doing this?! Its obvious I didn't mean to say it yet, and what's the big deal, so I love him. What, he's never–Ohhh../ Well, that would fit. With how he acted and everything. It also took the wind out of her sails, although she said quite saucily. "So I love you! That's what I said, bugger! I love you, I adore you, when you kiss me I melt inside, the idea of you being hurt makes me want to throw-" Quickly she slapped a hand over her mouth as quite much more than she intended came out in a rush. /Well, bugger me sideways. Welcome to Tonks sticks her foot in it, part two!/ 


	10. I bet the Ravenclaws never thought of th...

Dumbledore's lips curved upwards in a smile as he walked softly over to the chair he'd sat in for so many years, and sank down in it, somehow keeping his eyes upon the two the whole time. _Nymphadora is so good for Severus_, he reflected for what was probably the umpteenth time, but he couldn't help it, it was true. This fact was brought home harder than ever as he took in the shocked and disbelieving expression on the Potion Masters face. _No one should ever doubt that someone could love them…_and as Severus reach a hand up to caress Tonks' cheek and leaned in to kiss her, his mind shifted gears to…_I wonder if I'll be invited to the wedding? Maybe godfather to their chil—_Just then the younger man took a step backwards, and turned on his heel, leaving the room at a brisk clip, colour high in his cheeks, the headmaster sighed.

His eyes went over to Tonks, who was staring at the door from which Severus had exited, her eyes wide and filled with self-recrimination. "Why'd I have to go and open my big mouth?" She whispered sadly and reach up to swipe at tears that were falling down her cheeks. When he'd touched her cheek, his black eyes had shown with warmth that warred with the shock and other emotions she couldn't quite figure out, she'd thought that everything was going to be okay, and her mind had flitted forward to what it would be like once he'd acknowledged that he loved her too. Then, though, for some reason he'd fled, and it felt like her world had collapsed around her. Sniffling, she sank down in front of the fire, never taking her eyes from the door.

"He does love you, child." Dumbledore said quietly as he got to his feet, and came over near the metamorphmagus, and lowered his creaking frame to the floor beside her. Anguished eyes locked onto his own blue ones, but before he could say another word, Tonks nodded.

"I know he does…" She said. "I…he has to. I mean, I'm the only one that can argue with him like I do…and he actually seeks me out, which I know he doesn't voluntarily do too many other people, and I'm not nuts, when he kisses me, I know he feels the same thing I do. It feels like there's no one in the world but the two of us, and my toes start tingling, and my breath hitches and all I want is for him to put his-"

Dumbledore coughed gently just then, and murmured, "I assure you, I understand, Nymphadora." before she could give him too much information. Instantly colour rose on the young woman's cheeks and she ducked her head, giving a half-hearted giggle.

"Sorry."

"Quite alright…I remember what its like to be in love." He patted her comfortingly on the shoulder, heartened by the fact that even when she seemed so sad, she could still laugh. She really was a rather resilient, unique type, he mused as he studied her surreptitiously before speaking again. "You know, Nymph—" at her glare, he faltered and changed his wording wisely, "Tonks, its mainly just shock. I don't believe Severus has ever thought that anyone could love him. He probably just needs time to adjust."

She nodded, and looked down at the floor. "I know….I know I should give him time…I kno—NO!" She suddenly said strongly, and got to her feet. "No. He's not gonna run and hide until he gets used to the idea that someone can love him. NO ONE should have to get used to that idea. I'm not gonna give him Merlin knows how long, in hopes that he can deal with it, and come to me…not when this war is on and he could die at any time. I mean, he'll have a price on his head now like you wouldn't believe...and just NO!" Frowning, she slipped back into her natural form, and ran her fingers through her silky black hair. "Even if I have to hogtie that man, and kiss some sense into him…" Without so much as a by your leave to the man who was hailed as the most powerful wizard in the world, the metamorphmagus started out of the room, and began using the knowledge she'd acquired of Severus to hunt him down.

Up in the office, Dumbledore got to his feet slowly, putting a hand at his back as it cracked, and laughed softly. "Bright child…" he murmured, pleased. "I have no clue why she wasn't a Gryffindor to begin with." Just then, the hat spoke up.

"Because, Headmaster, her loyalty is of the strongest kind you can find. Its not the loyalty of the blind, or the helpless, but of the strong that can orient on the most important things, and give loyalty not for their protection, but for the best reasons you can find."

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He practically ran down the steps, and his robes billowed out behind him like he was in the face of a gale-force wind as he headed not for his chambers, but for the restricted section of the library. It would be too easy for anyone to locate him if he did. Instead he wanted the library. Where quiet was enforced, where he was surrounded by calm, and could spend untold amounts of time during nothing but poring over information, without being able to stop every three seconds to work on a potion. He managed to slow down as he got to the library, and remembered to give the shrew of a librarian a cordial nod before heading straight for the restricted section without a word to anyone. Once he was safely ensconced in the rows of dangerous books, whether that was by hexes on them, or information, he leaned his head against one shelf, and took in a deep breath, then let out a quiet "Bloody hell."

It had been one hell of a night. And it had all actually happened within the space of a half hour, although it seemed to have been dragged out over hours, at the time. He shook his head in disbelief, still not quite wanting to deal with the fact that Tonks had been so stupid as to attend a death-eater meeting as Lucius of all people. _What in the world could drive anyone to do something so stupid? _He wondered bitingly, but the answer almost immediately popped into his head. _When someone you love is in danger, you don't necessarily think about stuff like that first, Sev!_ Those words, even in pure remembrance, made him feel slightly dizzy. _Someone you love…you love…love…I adore you, when you kiss me I melt inside._ His chest clenched as her face came to mind as she was saying the words. His study of people made him realize that she had been telling the truth; there was no real doubt about that. He only had to look at how surprised she'd looked when she said it.

And she hadn't meant to say it. He had realized that too. Realized it, and been hurt by it. Why hadn't she said it before? /Would you have accepted it before?/ His conscious inquired, and he thumped his head against the shelf. _I can't even accept it now._ The Potions Master groaned and mentally reviewed the conversation in the library, with her last words ringing in his mind. Why would someone like her even think that they could love him? He was the ultimate Slytherin /That's why you stick your neck out for the light side/, he didn't care for anyone /That's why the idea of her getting hurt made you feel like you were going to have a heart attack, he served the Greatest Bastard of all time /Yes, that's why you risked everything for so long to spy on him and try to help bring about his downfall./ No one even liked him. /Except Dumbledore and Tonks./ He was unworthy of any affection, let alone hers.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even hear the rather loud footsteps behind him, and had to stifle a cry of alarm when he felt two hands come to rest on the slightly protruding bones of his pelvis, followed by a warmth that pressed itself to his back. His heart hammering, he took in a deep breath, and it was then as her scent struck him, that he calmed as he realized who it was. Relaxing slightly without realizing it, he turned around slowly, and looked down at the natural—this registered with some surprise—face and features of Nymphadora Tonks. "Why'd you follow me?" He said after a moment, his expression guarded even as he had to clench his fists to resist the urge to smooth the frown line from her brow.

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Tonks blinked at the unexpected statement. She'd expected to be yelled at, to be questioned bitingly, but not this surprisingly soft question. It threw her off for a moment, but she quickly regained her mental balance, and plunged forward, not giving herself time to think, trusting her heart to guide her right. "Because I love you, you big idiot, and you need to realize that. Stop acting like a pure Slytherin, Sev, and trust me."

He raised a brow, and said sardonically, "In case you didn't realize it, I AM a Slytherin." To which she merely shook her head.

"I said pure Slytherin, Sev. None of us are pure Slytherin, pure Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, or Gryffindor." This surprisingly wise statement coming from someone who looked so young and vulnerable at the moment took him aback for a second, and he nodded before he realized what he was doing. "I love you." She said again.

He tried to step back, and came up against the shelf behind him. "So you said…" He tried coolly, and she shook her head again.

"I love YOU, Severus." Her hands came up to rest on the front of his robes, and she raised herself up on tiptoe.

He swallowed hard. "I believe you think you do."

Her eyes flashed that molten gold colour that caused an instant stirring in his body. "You're a pain in the ass. Rude. Sarcastic. Intolerant of bra—I mean kids. Self-pitying." Her lips were a mere inch from his as she said this. And it seemed like each word caused an arrow of pain to shoot through him. His eyes hardened, and he brought his hands up to her shoulders to push her away from him, but before he could, she pressed her lips to his briefly. "Is there any of some of your more trying aspects that I'm missing?" Tonks asked coolly, and he shook his head.

"I do believe you've quite catalo-"

"Yes would have been fine, Severus." She kissed him again, and he had to struggle to keep his lips firm, and not respond to her kiss. "Now, you're brave..." She kissed him again. "loyal...intelligent...you've got hands that a girl can dream about." Each complimentary listing of his character was followed by a short, sweet kiss.

"You make me sound like a dog." He murmured, resistance ebbing away.

"Mmm, maybe, but I certainly don't have the thoughts about dogs that I do about you." She nibbled on his lower lip, and then whispered in his ear. "I do dream about your hands, Severus, that and your voice…and the way you can move…" She was keeping this honest. She didn't dream about his face, and wasn't going to insult him by telling him something like he was drop dead gorgeous or something. The metamorphmagus eased back a half step, and smiled up at him. "You make me want to smack you, you make me laugh, and you bring out some…interesting parts of me." She kissed him again, putting all she had into it, until he finally gave in to the feel of her hips rubbing against him, and her tongue begging entry into his mouth.

His hands slid down her shoulders, to the small of her back, and finally settled on her buttocks, which he squeezed as he pulled her tightly against him and returned the kiss. When their lips finally parted, and they were panting for more reasons than just lack of air; and she grinned at him. "I love you. What does it take to convince you of that?"

His obsidian eyes fell to her lips and then rose to her eyes. "I just cannot grasp any one reason why you even feel attracted to me." He said, his throat dry.

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Then I guess its up to me to show you, isn't it?" He raised a brow again, and she cast a cushioning charm on the floor around them, followed by a quick silencing charm, and suddenly he was on his back before he even registered that he was leaving his feet. Then her lips were against his, her hands roaming over him, and it didn't take but a second for him to begin responding whole-heartedly.

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Twenty minutes later, she placed a gentle kiss onto his sweaty brow, and grinned playfully at him. "That, Snape, is one of the reasons why I feel attracted to you…and this…" She bent her head and gave him a kiss that wasn't feel with passion, but with what he'd derogatorily said were "warm, fuzzy imbecilic feelings" at one time, "is why I love you. We argue constantly, laugh at each other, annoy each other, and yet when I'm around you, I'm not uncomfortable. Often quite frustrated, yes, but not uncomfortable." She wrinkled her nose for a brief moment. "Now, do you need me to get sappy? Because I can."

His color high, he rose to a sitting position, and shook his head. "No need to for that." He said firmly, and she laughed as she too rose up to a sitting position. However, that laugh was cut off abruptly as her eyes focused on something at the end of the row, and she immediately went red, hurriedly adjusting at her clothing.

Frowning, he looked round to see what had caused such a reaction, and gave a blush that rivaled any that he'd ever seen on a Weasley.

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From the end of the restricted section row, three teens had frozen like they'd been caught in an immobulis spell, eyes on the two professors, faces disbelieving. As Tonks took down the silencing charms and headed toward her to try to explain, the shocked trio squeaked, coughed, and mouthed a curse simultaneously before turning as one, and practically flying from the library, completely ignoring Madam Pince.

It wasn't until they got to the safety of the Gryffindor common room that they said anything, and then it was all of them talking at once.

"I'm going to have nightmares!"

"She's nutters!"

"How could they do something like…that…in the school _library_?"

"Who? Do what?" Parvarti Patil enquired as paused from reading the latest teen witch weekly in front of the fire.

Brown, Green, and Blue eyes widened and the trio went beet red as they squeaked out, "Nothing!" and suddenly found reasons to depart from the common room, all heading in different directions.

**The end.**

**Thank you to everyone who's reviewed I hope you enjoyed it. I may do an epilogue, if anyones interested? Just let me know.**


	11. The MamaBear Slytherin

Disclaimer: Not mine. Never was mine. Never gonna be mine. Instead- JK rowlings. Warning: This is short, but sweet.** After all, its just the end of the end...**

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_One Month Before the Start of the new school Year at Hogwarts_

"I dont want you teaching right now."

"Why?" She asked, and his eyes dropped to her midsection before rising back up to stare at her pointedly.

"Severus, c'mon. I'm an AUROR, and I'll only be pregnant till about Christmas break." Her chocolate brown eyes snapped with frustration.

"You're my wife."

"And an auror."

"You're pregnant with our child, and I don't want you risking it."

"I can take care of myself." One slim black brow rose and she rolled her eyes. "Look, I'll put cushioning charms on everything, alright? and Dumbles said he'd take over teaching duties when it came time for me to deliver."

He crossed his arms, and glowered at her. "I don't trust those brats."

"Yeah well, they don't trust you either. Fair trade, eh?"

"Nymph--"

"Sevvie."

"Tonks, do NOT start that again."

"Well, if you didn't insist on calling me that blasted name, I wouldn't have to." It was all the Potions Master could do just then to not shake her. Instead he had to settle for gritting his teeth. "Look, I can't just hang around here, doing nothing, and I won't do the auror work right now. I'm not that stupid. But I have to do something, and it gives me a way to make money."

"I'm perfectly capable of supporting you."

"I'm not capable of sitting on my arse and doing nothing. You know that."

"You wouldn't have to do "nothing"."

"Oh really? Who was it that took the knitting needles away from me as soon as they saw me with them?"

"Because you could get hu--" He shut up at the look she gave him, and color tinged his cheeks. "I don't want to lose you." The hook-nosed man finally said quietly, and it was enough to make his wife grin sappily as she moved in closer, and raised up on her tiptoes to place a kiss on his cheek.

"I love you, Severus, and you won't lose me. Dumbles thinks I'll be perfectly fine." His arms went around her and she sighed in contentment, resting her head against his chest. Then, unexpectedly, she sneezed violently.

When the Potions Master groaned and stepped back, waving his wand at his shirt front, the metamorphmagus grinned up at him. "Sorry, Sev."

"Every time I work on the Draught of Living Death, you end up sneezing on me."

"So then don't work on it." She brought her hands up to her naturally black hair, which she'd shorn off to a mere inch long when she found out she was pregnant, having been strictly ordered not to try any shifting, and ruffled it. Instantly, her husband grabbed her hands, bringing them down gently but forcibly to her sides.

"Don't do that." He gritted out, and Tonks couldn't help but giggle.

"Sev?" _He's so gonna hurt me for this..._

"Yes?" He'd released her hands, and was heading toward the bedroom to get a fresh change of clothes on so he could hold his wife without having snot splattered all over him, when she spoke to him. He paused, turning to look at her, and at her question, promptly turned back around,stalked into the bedroom and slammed the door.

Tonks broke into peals of laughter, and called out, "I think Harry's a quite nice name, really!"

"SHUT UP, WOMAN!"

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**and maybe the beginning?**

A/N: I puzzled and puzzled over what would be a fitting epilogue, and was beginning to think I wouldn't get one done, when this popped into my head. It made me giggle immediately, I hope y'all like it.

Its also just intriguing enough that I may try to do a sequel with it...but I need a beta...Anyone offering?


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